Mix tape swap is back on! @Ovom ; mallisatugboat / Mallory Ryan gosling and myself at least.
Aka tiu should get involved let’s make it much better than ever!
YES! This feels like youth again (except the year we did this was actually the worst year of my life but that was in no way due to our swap)3 days ago
I think an interesting thing about my ‘newfound freedom’ is that it tends to enliven the first ‘domestic’ signs in me, or the realization that I could use the help from them. I tend to pick partners who fill the space of all my shortcomings: good cooks, cleaners - people who spend their free time figuring out how to make their lives easier/better. Freedom not only highlights my realization (for the first two days I lived off ramen and frozen sweet potatoes), but makes me aware of the fact that it’s pretty much a disaster. I can’t tell you the last time I did laundry that wasn’t me throwing a few items your way to clean, and yeah maybe it wouldn’t hurt if I scrubbed some things from time to time, too.
Two-fold is this new blow to my finances, or what I assume may be a blow, but maybe just means “thinking” about my money instead of just living how I damn well please. That one makes me think about staying home and learning those recipes from the cookbooks I neglected after the excitement that lasted for all of .5 seconds. I know in the end this may be good, it may be a break from stress of sorts, and it may mean to move on, but the two years away from education for the first time in your life are actually the two years of largest learning. I’m not the girl I was at 22 (I wish I was, but I had to grow to accommodate the care of me).
I can’t decide if my ideas and morals changed due to just how good I was at taking care of myself financially, or if they were always there, waiting to present themselves. I simultaneously felt myself working into the ground, but had all those off-moments where I made those purchases that felt good: the ability to drop $1,000 to save my dog spur of the moment, that new bike (please someone ride it with me!), that camera I STILL keep forgetting to use for fear of resembling a tourist and every other thing under the sun that is crowding this room that I’ve neglected to pick up.
I think Matt is coming in a few days, and that will be good. While I often question his background (how he gets by with the ability to partake in literally everything he pleases), I realize that his company is very healthy for me. I do a lot of things I shouldn’t, but I am reminded that turning into an adult “blows.” Or rather, I’m reminded to have fun. He’ll drag me to all these things I wouldn’t normally attend, and while I might get myself in some trouble, that kid can pry me out as quickly as I entered.
So here’s to earning domesticity (can you earn that alone?), saving money and filling my freedom with all those things I meant to learn, say and do.3 days ago